So my feelings on wearing a mask have changed over the weeks of the lockdown.
I can remember having a judgement on seeing people at airports wearing masks a long while ago thinking what’s the point of them. But the choice was one I didn’t have to think about, wasn’t on my radar of anything important at all.
Fast forward a few months and that situation has changed.
At first whilst on a walk by the canal, when I saw other people coming towards me I realised I felt slightly worried. Not too sure what about but I noticed my breathing altered and then my lips felt tingly. I realised I was in fact feeling quite anxious. But again, of what I couldn’t be certain.
When Simon returned to work, I then faced going into shops for the first time. I was worried I might get ‘something wrong’ or make a fool of myself or worse bump into someone. Again I was aware I felt fearful but I wasn’t sure of what.
I decided to order a mask, I would probably need one for when I can see clients anyway.
Today in Lidl I did wear my mask. Again my breathing was rapid and the consequence of that made my glasses steam up. I instinctively pulled the mask away from my face to let some air in - but now I’d touched my mask! Looking up I saw many other shoppers had masks on too, some had gloves on also. I took a moment to think about why I was wearing the mask. “I feel safer“ came through as a reply in my head. Even though i noted that the wording was ’feel‘ rather than ’I am’ safer I was able to reassess the ‘why.’
I am trying not to judge myself or others. In a reading I gave in early March, I had said beware of people wearing masks. At the time it meant nothing and I actually said that I had no idea why I was being asked to pass that message on. Just keep safe in what ever way you feel safe.